03/25/2025

Made with Love. A tattoo written on my right arm. A spontaneous decision I made to remind myself of who I am.

Made with Love. A phrase to describe the amount of love I have received from the people present in my life that has taught me how to love.

Love is such a complex idea. It has thousands of meanings. It’s deep—only you can dig it up. You go through stages of love, each evoking different emotions. It’s indescribable, because when you love someone deeply, you don’t need a reason, the feeling itself is more than enough.

Love comes through in different ways, ways that you would never imagine.

The way people lend you a book they have read, knowing how much you’d like it. The way people send you a song that reminds them of you. The way people go out of their way to make sure you’re okay. The way your friend leaves a show playing in the background before bed because you said the silence is too loud, and you can’t bear it. The way people wipe your tears away while telling you how beautiful you are. The way people send you flowers just because. The way they look at you, knowing that they are ready to listen to you.

When I think of love, I think of the people who never leave your side and are there to listen to the cries you are dying to let out. Just by seeing them, you cry, yearning for their comfort.

Love can hurt too, sometimes. You question yourself if you deserve to have that connection with the person because you realize that the love you give is not being given back in the same way. You overthink if you have done enough, and sometimes, you even go further just to see if you would get a reaction. And when you don’t, you start losing yourself. You begin creating scenarios in your head of situations that you know can break you apart, but you tell yourself that it is okay so that if it ever happens, you won’t feel hurt as much. You sabotage the love you receive because you believe you don’t deserve it after all the agonizing you did to yourself. During those times, I became self-distrusting. I knew I hurt myself, and I told myself I had done myself a disservice because I deserved it.

But I didn’t. I knew from the bottom of my heart that I didn’t have to hurt myself. Isn’t that ironic?

I am learning all things the hard way and while it can be overwhelming, I enjoy the growth it brings. I get deep into thinking that sometimes I never fall asleep because thoughts in my mind are running thousands of miles. I write or I film myself talking to make it evident—a way to ease the anxious feeling inside of me.

I still have so much life to live, love to give, love to receive. I’m in my early 20s; love will continue to grow with me. I realized that love is everywhere. It’s in the plants you take care of, the books waiting to be read, the products you put on your face that make you feel alive, your warm bed, the sun that wakes up with you, the greetings from people you walk past, the dew on your morning walk, the smile you wear, your morning coffee.

Love exists in the smallest things. Being grateful is love. Gratitude is the most evident practice of love—both within yourself and toward others.

I made a promise to myself that every time I walk to the gym, I will say out loud what I am grateful for because it truly sets the tone for my day. This rush of excitement carries me through, and I never realized how powerful words could be.

Through everything I’ve been through, I know I have faith in myself. I have my people, my passion, and confidence in who I am because I know that I am made with love.